Parenting on the spectrum...

When I first became a parent I had a read a few books before hand and with my husband we decided on the parenting philosophy we were going to take.

I was amazed to find myself then in hospital with absolutely no idea how to care for a child and the differing of opinions in how to feed, how often to feed, feed play sleep or the other way around, cloth nappies, disposables, control crying, etc, etc. I was not sure how to practically put into place the philosophy behind my parenting.

Although I thought we had it worked out, I quickly started to feel the pull of everyone around us, nurses, doctors, families, friends and onlookers as they all expressed their opinion, the new research as opposed to how we use to do it.....In the midst of it all, we were tired, trying to make sense and good decisions was not easy, as I was definately irrational.

I don't think the ends of the spectrum have changed. As my children get older there is still so many varying degrees of opinion. I can proudly say that our parenting philosophy hasn't changed, sometimes how we excute it does and I must admit I sometimes feel myself surrending control to my children in my efforts to do what is best and will make them happy (but happy is not always best, especially for toddlers who so live in the moment).

I think that the best thing to do in those early days of parenting is decide what you think is best. How are you going to parent, and make decisions? You are the one living with the child, you know the child best and most importantly you know the values you want your children to live by. Make your decision and be firm, when other opinions cross your path, listen and then take on what fits your approach. I so quickly learnt that there is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to children!

Let me encourage you, to be consistent in how you have chosen to parent. If you flip flop between different strategies, boundaries, etc you will only exhaust yourself and confuse your children!