What are you parenting towards?

Have you ever thought about how you want your kids to turn out?

I am not talking about their vocation, but more their values and morals. Have you ever considered what it is that you value in your family.... that you are already subconsciously teaching your children?

I know it won't surprise most of you, but I have considered how I want my kids to be at the end of my nurturing parenting years. I actually take the task quite seriously. I want my kids to be great friends to others by being kind, considerate, loving, empathetic, patient, etc. If there is a child who is being left out in the playground, it is my hope that it will be my child who will stop and take the time to include that child. If a lady drops a bag in a supermarket, it is my hope that my child will stop to spend the time to help the lady pick up her belongings and the illustrations for that point could go on....

So, instead of just hoping that my kids 'will get there in the end' I am trying to be deliberate about teaching them these values. My kids are still babies, so at the moment a lot of how I teach them is verbally through using the virtues to describe the behaviours. When we see kind deeds on tv shows we talk about it. When a child is disciplined for being unkind to another, we discuss it.

I guess that is why Little Billies reward charts are based on 'heart attitudes' as I like to call them. It is so easy to praise a child for packing up, going to the toilet, making their bed as these are all tasks that are easily identified. To praise a child for a kind deed, kind words, for stopping and helping a sibiling for some reason I don't think comes as naturally. I think it means that as parents we have to be actively looking and listening for the opportunity to praise these things. Praise for these 'heart attitudes' will only help to nurture these virtues in our Little Billies.

I think we need to be deliberate in our parenting. Identify what key values are important to your family and then work on verbalising to your children what these look like and them praise them for demonstrating them. You will be amazed at how they will grow!

My Little Miss 2 demonstrated to me just yesterday that she is already learning what patience is all about. I was waiting for Mr 4 to come and put his shoes on and was starting to get a little agitated. Little Miss 2 then said 'mummy have patience, don't be in such a hurry'.... oh from the mouths of babes! I wonder when she will learn to exercise it though?