Encouraging & Praising Kids too Much?

There has been a bit of media attention about positive parenting recently and some reports have been that this current generation of parents are praising our kids too much!

I have thought about this issue for a while and firstly I would like to say - everything in life is about moderation! I agree that if I praised my children constantly for ever good deed or perceived good intention, etc it would be over kill. Would the children then crave affirmation at every turn and point in their lives, yes probably. Would it be a healthy set up for their life - no. But here is why I am a big believer in encouraging and praising our kids.

I am going to say it - sometimes life can be hard. Kids can be cruel. There will be personality clashes in life. Do I want my child to crumble and fall as soon as they hit a hard time - no! Am I trying to build my children's self esteem - yes.

When I encourage and praise my children it is about a few things for me.

- I want them to know I believe in them

- I want them to believe in themselves and have an 'I can' attitude to life

- I want them to be resilient when the time comes that someone will deal them a blow

- I want to bring out the best in my children by encouraging the good I see in them

- I want my children to remember a happy home life, not a yelling, nagging mum so if I can achieve this by concentrating on the good, then so be it.

Practically how do I go about this positive parenting? I do it in moderation. I actually identify behaviours that I want to teach my children. I concentrate on usually three at a time. I then praise them when the demonstrate the right behaviour and give them a sticker for their reward chart. Then for other incidents I give them a high five, a cuddle or a kiss or just a simple 'good job'.

Are there times when I am not the positive, praising and encouraging parent? Of course, that is actually what started this journey for me. My natural tendency was to highlight the things my children weren't doing well with 'nos' and 'stop that' and 'don't touch'. I felt like I was being a restrictive parent that was stripping my children. Of course there are times when those phrases are appropriate and will happen. But I think that those times will help bring the balance to our children.

I think things changed for me when I actually made a decision to parent my kids the way I wanted them to be in the future (mentioned in a previous post). I want to raise my kids so that when the that bully in the playground picks on them that hopefully they can be a little bit more resilient for all the positivity, praise and encouragement that they have received. That they will believe that they are a good person and that it is the choices that they make to be kind, considerate, loving and gentle, etc that will help them to stand tall and be a valued member of society regardless of what challenges they face.

What do you think....