We have noticed a change in our son the last few days... it is like he has stepped up, like suddenly the penny has dropped... like he has matured (at the ripe age of 4)....
Have you ever noticed that you can go through tough patches with your kids and then one day it is like they wake up and they are a totally different child.
I always like to think of it as catching a glimpse of the sunshine on a dark cold and rainy day or looking up through the canopy of a tree and seeing the sunshine poking through and dancing through the leaves. It is like you get to see a glimpse of the fruit of what your child could be.
Now, please don't read this wrongly I don't mean this in a proud, boastful way and there are many debates as to nature vs nuture. However, as we have been deliberate in our parenting surely when we get to see these small glimpses we can think 'oh, we are heading in the right direction!'.
So when our days are full of giggles, cuddles, laughter, a child who responds immediately to requests wholeheartedly and happily and really shows a maturity beyond his years, what do we credit it to? My husband is so quick to say 'it is so good that he is maturing'. I am always quick to respond 'yes, but this is something we have been working on....'
The last month I must admit has been a bit of a struggle as my son has tried to push boundaries out. I once had someone tell me that these formative years are like a porthole into the teen years and that if the boundaries are not set now it will be tougher in those years ahead, I wonder if that is true? But sometimes when my son is testing our boundaries I think about what was said and it gives me courage and perseverance to be consistent. Not for fear of the future, but for the shaping of the man he is to become.
I guess what I am trying to convey is (as I have written once before) think about what your values are, and what do those values look like in an adult person? Are the foundations and boundaries that you have in place now for your children helping you to achieve that?
We have experienced a couple of incidents of this lately.... a close friend of mine (you know who you are and I hope that this is ok!?!) has for some time been trying to teach her 3 year old daughter, empathy. This is something my friend thought her daughter lacked to show examples of naturally and she has been taking the time to teach her. I was privileged to see the fruit of her efforts on New Years Day when another friends little boy was tired, lying on the floor and basically just given up and this sweet little girl bent over to him and said 'why are you sad, are you ok?'. To watch the delight of her mum was so nice, to witness the fruit of her labour in teaching her child....
For our own incident my son is incredibly competitive and we were lucky enough to receive a Wii for Christmas. Very early on we identified that our son needed to be taught to be a gracious winner. Just tonight as he was teaching his little sister a new game on the Wii he said to her 'fantastic job Kenz, great effort for a first go, give me a Hi 5'. I love it! The moments in life that just melt your heart!
For us our main value is kindness. We are trying to model this, talk about this and teach this virtue to our kids. It is when I see moments of kindness from my children to others that my heart melts....
What are your values?
0 comments:
Post a Comment