Proactive Parenting

Little Billies often claims that we will help parents to 'add a more fun and structured approach to your positive and proactive parenting'.

I thought it might be timely to state why.

I want to tackle PROACTIVE first, will save positive for another day ;)

Before Little Billies was created I was in reaction mode, which in my interpretation means that I was already in crisis mode. I was trying to squash behaviours and attitudes in my child that were already there! It occurred to me that this was totally backwards. We take so much time in teaching our children in life skills and for the most part parents have a really planned approach.

Take introducing your child to solids. I bet you did some reading, identified what foods you should introduce when along with quantities and textures and consistency, etc, etc. Why? because you wanted to set your child up for great eating habits. You wanted to equip them with this life skill that would nourish their bodies, keep them healthy, fuel them for learning and on it goes.

Why then, generally do we not do the same with behaviours? I know I am a bit of a broken record in regards to teaching my children kindness, but if I PROACTIVELY teach my child what it means to be kind surely I am giving them a heart attitude that will equip them for life. If a person shows kindness, surely they will be included at school and be inclusive of others, they will know how to embrace others for who they are. They will form long lasting relationships. Hopefully, they will get along with sibilings and their parents... no guarantees because ultimately at the end of the day it will be about their own choice, but surely if we proactively teach them....

My son started Prep this year. He is no stranger to what it means to be kind to others and I actually believe that he understands what it means. Sure, he is only 4 and still human and at times I can see that he doesn't reflect this, but I am in my thirties, I also am trying to be kind to all those I meet and sometimes even those who I won't meet and I don't have it down 100% of the time either.

Anyway, back to my son. He encountered his first heart break on day three at being a Prep. He had made friends with a lovely little girl. Who for whatever reason decided at one moment on one day to say 'you are not my friend'. Well my Little Billie was quite heartbroken by this, from what I understand he cried, sought out a teacher and long story short the little girl revised her story and said 'she was just joking'. Now as a mum, this does bother me, because my precious little guy was hurt. However, after some cuddles and kisses and affirming from mum and dad we then had an opportunity to use this situation to be proactive.

I asked my son how it felt to be hurt. He was able to describe to me that it wasn't very nice, etc, etc. I then asked him that do you think that you can remember this feeling, so that if he then ever was thinking of hurting another child with his words or actions that he would choose to be kind instead. Of course, he answered yes.

So I could have taken this opportunity just to 'fluff' him up and make sure his self esteem was still in tact (which of course I did!) However, it was also important that I take this opportunity to teach him what it felt like to be on the receiving end of someone being un-kind.

All I am trying to really illustrate to you is, take the opportunities presented to you as a parent, to use them to shape, mould and guide your child. Every day there are opportunities to see what is not quite right and what could use a bit of guidance.....