The Best of me, for the best of them....

I never realised how much I considered parenting subconsciously until I started a blog.... I often think about things and my approach as I read many of the great blogging mums posts out there in cyber space. I only write, not because I think I have the answers or that I am an expert, but just in the hope that perhaps some of my thoughts and considerations may help some of you to have light bulb moments :)

I must admit that as a mum I often fall into the trap of letting things go in my excuse of it being for the good of the child. So I can leave the housework in the name of playing with the kids, or doing homework, or trying to teach them a value through play. I can let the washing go undone for a few too many days, paying bills or giving my husband the attention that he deserves all in the name of being a good mum....

The reality is, I believe I have it wrong and am constantly changing where my compass is pointing to trying to get that balance right. While I believe play is extremely important, especially with my children, not just their play by themselves... I believe it is equally important for me to 'model' all the other important facets of life.

It is my job/role/responsibility to teach my children time management/responsibilities and self-discipline. The good old saying 'action speaks louder than words'. By doing a little bit of 'work' every day we can manage our house and have more time to play.

For me this happens through the structuring of our days (with two little ones at home). It is about building in job time - so I can model that it is important that we clean the house, wash the clothes, make the beds, etc. By doing this every day I am teaching them this self discipline and habit while modelling to them the way to do this effectively and efficiently. It is also teaching them to get on with the job!

My appearance is also important - this is something that has definitely suffered in my role as mum. This is something I must not let go of. I must look after myself and dress nicely (and I am no yummy mummy by any stretch of the imagination). If I don't do this I am sub-consciously saying to my family that I do not value them, that they are not worth the effort for me to look my best. Also, I am not teaching my children about what clothes match, what is appropriate dress for different occasions. I am particularly mindful of this with a very young daughter who already demonstrates a desire to look pretty, I want to model to her what pretty is.... that it is about being dressed tastefully and appropriately, that I can be pretty despite my size and body shape, that it is about using what I do have.

When I became a mum, I didn't stop being a sister, friend, daughter, co-worker, neighbour, etc. When someone in my circle needs help I want to be able to offer something to help lighten their load. If my life is in chaos and I am not living my best, how do I possibly make the time to give a piece of me to help someone else? I want to model this to my children, I want my children to know that it is important that we have outstretched arms to help pull others out and be able to stop life short and lend a listening ear or give a hug when someone is down..... by having my life under control I can do this, I know how to make space because I am not chasing my tail. I can also talk my kids through this opportunity and give them the time and space to know the why of caring for others in practical and tangible ways.

Looking after our possessions, having a place where everything lives and packing up when we are finished and activity. By me modelling and requiring us to pack up and put things away I am hopefully teaching my children to value the possessions that they do have. We minimise wasting time looking for lost scissors, toys or newsletters if everything is put away and in its place. When I think about this one, I think about the skills that I am teaching my children in terms of being tidy. Will we escape the messy and slobby of teenagers by instilling this in them now, I don't know, but gee a girl sure can try!

So my moral, is being the best I can, not letting those little things slide. But staying on top of things because ultimately it will lead to an easier time..... now I am not saying that I will never fall of the organised wagon, but when I do all it requires is for me to pick up and keeping going..... I am also not into giving yourself a hard time when the wagon slips, because the reality is, this is life and sometimes we hit potholes in the road and that wagon might jump and a bit of the load might fall..... that is ok... that is what we have girlfriends, sisters and families for to help us get the load back up on that wagon and keep going.