Firstly I would like to say that I love my Little Billies very much! Sometimes so much that it can hurt. I can physically ache at the thought of them being hurt or sick. Now, having said that and so that you know where I am coming from I can write the rest....
I recently sat outside school, waiting for the bell to ring. I sat next to a mum who I like a lot, we have chatted a bit before in the past and I think we are on the same page with many of our approaches. I casually asked her how she was going..... she instantly told me it was tough, that her little one was not sleeping well at night and that just the night before she had laid in bed next to her husband and they had discussed whether it was ok not to like your kids.
I have an friend, who is of simliar age to me. He a little while ago told me about his teen years and how he would often get frustrated with his parents and inform them in no uncertain terms that he did not like them anymore. His parents (much to his annoyance) would reply calmly 'what, and you think we like you?'
Both of these conversations have made the wheels turn as I have pondered these encounters. I have thought about my own childhood and my parents and now about how I parent and my response to my children.
Although I can readily admit I have thought 'I don't like you' about my children, it is not true. The truth is like I said earlier, I love them more than I could have imagined. However, there are parts of them that I don't like. Just like there are parts of me that I don't like. But you know what, we are works in progress. Who really has arrived? No one!
So while I can reflect on not liking (parts of) my children, I can also say the same for me and even my husband, family and friends.
As I grow and learn, sometimes the parts of me that I don't like are magnified, it makes it hard for me to step out of the light of them and I have to face them and make a choice to change. Not easy, but necessary to continually evolve to be who I was destined to be. Just like my children.... they are fresh and new, still in their formative years and still have sooo much learning and shaping of their character. What a privilege that I get to know them warts and all and that I will be part of their journey.
A friend of mind recently posted this comment on facebook, sharing about her 3 year old:
'She brings out the best in me, she brings out the worst in me... She can give me tremendous joy along with causing me extreme exhaustion and frustration... her concept fo time is very different to mine, when I'm in a hurry she likes to take her time, when I want to take my time, she wants it to happen NOW.... most days I put her in bed feeling deflated, defeated and dreading antoher day, but once she's asleep I miss her and an't wait to see her again in the morning....'
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